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Men’s mental health: The distress is very real

The sharing of negative feelings or dark thoughts among men is often dictated by the social norms of our modern world. Unfortunately, certain clichés still hold sway, such as that men don’t ask for help and don’t cry. In such a context, it’s not surprising to learn that men commit suicide four times more often than women (1). Male distress is very real. We’re shedding some light on men’s mental health.

Let’s talk male suicide

While cancer and heart disease are the leading causes of death in men aged 40 to 64, suicide is the second leading cause of death among 18- to 39-year-olds (32%), just behind accidental death (34%) (1).

There are many reasons behind this sad statistic. The data suggest that the percentage may be higher, as men’s suicide attempts are more successful than those of women, who don’t always succeed in ending their lives. That said, one of the main reasons for male suicide is undoubtedly linked to the traditional view of masculinity. By regarding mental health problems as unworthy of a man, many of them refrain from sounding the alarm or asking for help from their family, their friends or a health care professional (2).

Who are they?

According to the Mental Health Commission of Canada, four groups of men can be more easily identified:

  • Those who live in environments with high standards of masculinity. These standards include their difficulty in accepting help for their mental health.
  • Those who often consume too much alcohol. Four times more men than women suffer from alcohol-induced psychosis (3). Although an equal dose of alcohol has a greater impact on women’s health, more men drink regularly (77% versus 65%) and excessively. This is one reason why alcohol-related illnesses (e.g., cirrhosis, digestive and upper aerodigestive cancers, psychosis) are more prevalent in men.
  • Those suffering from depression who also use alcohol or other substances that increase irritability, anger, disinhibition and impulsivity.
  • Those who isolate themselves or live alone, are coping with a relationship breakdown, are experiencing post-traumatic stress, are victims of abuse or violence (e.g., discrimination, homophobia, sexual and physical abuse, historical or colonial violence, etc.), or are obliged to move or relocate.

There’s no shame in asking for help

Several suicide prevention centres, including Suicide Action Montréal, are available 24 hours a day by phone (1-866-APPELLE or 9-8-8), chat (suicide.ca) or text message (535353 or 9-8-8). These centres invite people who are feeling down, have lost their bearings or can no longer think clearly to contact them in order to be heard. They offer potential solutions and suggest resources to help individuals regain their sense of well-being and balance. This process can be painful, but it’s conducted with empathy and kindness. Simply asking for help is in itself a first step and an excellent way to start the conversation.

Family and friends: The critical support group

The assumption that all men contemplating suicide will seek help on their own amounts to magical thinking. The role of family and friends is crucial in directing the sufferer to the appropriate care. According to Centre d’aide 24/7, here are the signs and symptoms that should prompt a troubled person’s friends and family to intervene (4):

  • Isolation and abandonment of friends and the usual activities
  • Sudden interest in death, firearms or medication
  • Unusual abuse of alcohol, medication or drugs
  • The organization of personal affairs, giving away of precious objects, preparation of a will or, even more eloquently, drafting of a farewell letter
  • Indirect verbal signs, such as talking about an upcoming trip or a disappearance
  • Direct verbal signs, such as confiding one’s desire to die or suicidal thoughts

Contrary to some misconceptions, talking about suicidal thoughts is rarely a way of getting attention: it’s often a cry for help. Social workers and other professionals are not the only people who can decode these signs and help prevent the irreparable. Family and friends can do this, too. Let’s keep listening and build solid relationships.

Sources5
  1. Mental Health Commission of Canada. Men’s Mental Health and Suicide in Canada. Consulted October 23, 2023.
  2. Institut national de santé publique du Québec (INSPQ). Principales causes de décès. https://www.inspq.qc.ca/santescope/syntheses/principales-causes-de-deces. Consulted October 23, 2023.
  3. Mental Health Commission of Canada. Men’s Mental Health and Suicide in Canada. Consulted October 23, 2023.
  4. Observatoire français des drogues et des tendances addictives. Évolution des taux de décès chez les hommes pour les 3 causes directement liées à l’alcool depuis 1983. October 2018. https://www.ofdt.fr/statistiques-et-infographie/series-statistiques/alcool-evolution-par-sexe-de-la-mortalite-induite-par-la-consommation/. Consulted October 23, 2023.
  5. Centre d’aide 24/7. Reconnaître les signes et symptômes. https://centredaide247.com/comment-aider-et-comprendre/. Consulted October 30, 2023.